I’ve been mulling over what to start with on here, and today I finally got the inspiration I needed from Rebecca Thorman’s excellent blog – Kontrary. In this post, Thorman talks about the need for women to refrain from segregating themselves professionally in the tech sector. Her points are absolutely spot-on, and I firmly believe they apply across all industries. This needs to stop. Here’s my meager contribution to this quiet revolution.
I work in a heavily male-dominated field, and I’ve faced my share of sexism in the workplace. I’ve been passed over for positions of greater responsibility on projects because it was presumed I was less experienced than my male counterparts (I wasn’t). I’m routinely asked if this is my first job out of college (I’m a mid-level manager three years out of graduate school). One time, it was suggested that if I like business-class airport lounges that much, I should “really marry up”. I’ve been explicitly told to be less “bold” by professional peers who seem to think expressing one’s opinion (if you’re a woman) is inappropriate, but banging people at professional conferences (if you’re a man) absolutely is. I routinely play the “let’s see how many women I can find here” game on various generic websites dedicated to technology and entrepreneurship, and more often that not, I find fewer than 5.
Where are all the women? Do they not have jobs? Do they not start companies? Of course they do. They’re all over in the women-only groups talking to other women about what how to advance as a woman in the workplace, how to launch a successful startup as a woman, and how to deal with sexism from non-women. I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous.
The blame for this phenomenon lies squarely with both genders. Since the dawn of the working woman era, nearly every professional environment has had some asshole claiming openly or covertly that he’s a better worker because he’s male. The female response to this has generally been to either cower in the corner or to lead some sort of bra-burning coven-like gathering. Now that Al Gore’s invented the Internet, we have entire websites dedicated exclusively to female workplace problems, half of which have to do with hem length, the other half being how to conduct oneself “as a woman” in a particular professional setting. Reader questions range from how to properly respond to e-mails to how to manage their time better; these are problems I’ve seen many men struggle with, but they don’t seem to be setting up male-oriented blogs on how to deal with their state of masculinity in an office environment.
The logical critique of my last statement would consist of underscoring that men don’t need “male-oriented” anything because the entire world is, by and large, male-oriented. This is generally true. However, the resulting question is still the same: seeing as that’s the case, why are we segregating ourselves even further? Isn’t the whole point to be breaking down barriers, not building up new ones? Why aren’t we crashing all-male panels at male-dominated events and speaking up? Why aren’t we, as Rebecca pointed out, inviting male CEOs to the gatherings we organize? Why do we hold female-only events at all?
My professional capacity is determined only by my professional capacity. That’s it. Nothing else. The merits of any business plan I ever write will only be dictated by its content, not by my gender. No piece of career advice I would give a fresh-faced female 21-year-old would differ from the advice I would give any of her male peers. If I go looking for career or business advice myself, I’ll be looking for information applicable to my skill level and credential set, not to my genitals, because my genitals play no part in the process. The quality of my work does not depend on my hem length; I work just as well in a flouncy Abercrombie & Fitch skirt as I do in a Theory suit. That’s because I work with my brain, not my ass.
I’m a firm believer in the existence of Impostor Syndrome (and a former sufferer of the same). It’s a very real psychological “affliction” that holds (primarily) women back professionally, academically, and even personally. The only way to fight it – and along with it, the disenfranchisement that is buoyed by self-imposed segregation – is to, borrowing the most cliche phrase I can think of, be the change you want to see in the world. See an event you’d like to go to? Go. Talk. Raise your hand. Ask questions. Introduce yourself. Engage men. Pitch your ideas. Be smart.
As a parting note, for fuck’s sake, can we please stop illustrating female-oriented professional events and organizations with stilettos, martinis, pink, and glitter? Thank you.
Nom Whine Prance 